I was reminded this week of a unique phenomenon of healing. In a peaceful moment - like a massage or long-awaited break from work - strong emotions arise and dominate this opportunity for rest and recovery. This feels like a slap in the face: I finally made it through my stressful work to a vacation and NOW my unresolved things are coming up?

Past traumas and stressors come to the surface because, in a peaceful moment, we are actually safe enough to feel. Life pressure and the need to "keep it together" have intelligently hidden this level of vulnerability and release. We simply didn't have the capacity to feel so deeply, and our body and mind knew this. This spacious moment of feeling safe and without pressure is where an important healing process can be completed as we bring kind presence to difficult emotions.

When I began to feel the depth of my long-held grief in therapy, I was afraid that if I really felt it all, it would dominate me without end. This was why I had suppressed it for so long with spiritual bypassing, being “strong” and “together,” and intellectualizing my healing. When I established a safe, therapeutic relationship with a therapist, I leaned in to trust that I could fully feel these emotions and come out more free on the other side.

It is a potent time and space for healing, when you are safe enough to feel.